


whats the kindest way to say

by sad_cat



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: (lowkey tho dw), Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Starvation, no im not projecting onto my ccs whatever do you mean, no ships they just care, this may or may not be a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:15:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_cat/pseuds/sad_cat
Summary: sad :(wrote this when i was doin bad, went fuck it why not post
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey & Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 62





	whats the kindest way to say

For one week, Gordon stayed in bed. He got up for two things. The bathroom, and water, which both conveniently could be found in the same room. He ignored to buzzing from his phone and the knocks at his door, electing to drown them out with a pillow, or a well timed slap to the phone.

The party had come and gone, and left him hollow. He knew they cared about him, knew they only wanted to help, but the thought of anyone seeing him emotionally vulnerable made his stomach churn.

So, he stayed quiet. Did nothing. It was like he was playing a game, and left. Saved and quit. It had hurt, seeing the calls and texts slow down, and the knocks become less frequent. But when they stopped fully, it hurt more than he'd expected. Playing dead wasn't one of his strong suits, apparently.

He'd cry and weep and sob over it, but it'd be better. He'd get better. Just had to get rid of the past. Of the things that hurt him. Things that hurt him and cared for him. The only people who ever did, and might ever again. It'd hurt to see them go, but he knew it was for the better.

There was a pang of hunger in his stomach, a rumble he couldn't quite shake. He'd be fine, people could go months without food. He was people.

e was _fine._ Just needed to forget, wait for it to stop, and continue with life.

Gordon didn't know he shook when he cried. Simply didn't cry enough to know just exactly how hard you shake when you sob, how pitiful the noises are. The whimpers, sniffs. Make you sound dramatic. Makes it seem like you want attention. You deny it, but what for? It isn't a sin to want interaction. It's a need, part of life.

Must've been why, when he finally cried all he could, there was a knock on the door. Why the knocker didn't sigh when there was no answer. Why he dug a bobby pin from his pocket and shushed his friend who seemed to be a bit too excited about breaking in. Why, when he finally cracked the door open and he ushered his friend inside, he wanted to cry at the dark.

No blinds were open, there was no divot in the couch to indicate someones been sitting there. A bowl in the sink, with milk that was a long way away from its expire date, and stunk a bit when you came too close. There were hushed whispers, question if the man they were looking for even came back here, or was long gone somewhere else.

Or worse. Dead.

Tommy pushed that thought from his head. There was no way Gordon would be dead. He went through hell and came out partying with the rat. He wouldn't give it all up for... Tommy stopped thinking about it, and pressed forward, Benrey trailing along after. The soft sound of breathing made waves of relief wash over Tommy when he cracked open what he could only assume to be a bedroom door. Now all he could do was hope the lump on the bed was actually Gordon.

He closed the door quietly to let him sleep, gently pulling Benrey's face from the crack in the doorway where they were peeking in. He whispered something about waiting for Gordon and Benrey took the message, slipping away to the living room. Tommy joined them shortly, his hands twirling around each other. Benrey glanced at the man to make an attempt at reading what might be going on in his head. Tommy emoted more than he thought, and for being one who doesn't have a wide variety of facial expressions, Benrey was pretty good at reading them.

Based off the knitted eyebrows and the thin line that was once Tommy's lips, something was really off. Benrey could tell something was wrong with Gordon, since they hadn't seen him since the final battle. At _all._ Of course, they could've just waltzed into Gordon's apartment whenever they felt, but Tommy got to them first and convinced them to leave Gordon alone for the time being. They were guessing that Tommy wanted to make sure Gordon was well. Still alive before Benrey waltzed in on an empty apartment or something worse.

The more they thought about it, the more they felt wrong. It felt wrong to leave Gordon alone. Something was wrong here.

They didn't notice the Sweet Voice until Tommy spoke in a hushed tone.

"Brick red to blue means... I don't know what to do..." Benrey snapped their head to meet Tommy's eyes, "I don't know either Ben..."

Their face turned to a pained grimace as they leaned into Tommy, who wrapped his arms around them in a reassuring hug. They sat like that for a minute or two, until the soft creak of someone walking don the hall got their attention. The bathroom door opened, the faucet turned on for a few seconds, then shut off abruptly.

Tommy and Benrey turned to face the hall and, low and behold, there was Gordon Freeman, wrapped in a heavy blanket walking down the hall. At first, he didn't seem to notice the pair as he turned to o back to his bedroom, but did a double take and paused.

A lull. A silence as the three stared back and forth. Gordon's face was blank before the panic settled in. The people he was hiding from were in his house. Looking at him. Right at him. There was no escape, he couldn't run to his room like an angry teen, or phase through the wall like Benrey could. Couldn't even make a sound. So he smiled. It wasn't much, and although it was pained and he wanted to cry so bad because the twisting in his chest hurt so much, he smiled.

He blinked slowly, and apparently time either traveled much faster than he remembered it, or Tommy developed teleportation because both of them were wrapping their arms around him when his eyes opened. He didn't have it in him the raise his arms and hug back, so he just leaned into them while doing his Very Best to not cry all over the two. Tommy was saying something, Benrey too, but Gordon was too focused on the fact they'd come to see him. They came to check on him.

They cared.

**Author's Note:**

> hi maybe i shouldntve posted this  
> i might write a follow up to this. might not. we'll see  
> alos please tell me if i need to tag anything that i didnt i dunno anything :p


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